


Two Teens and a Baby Part One to Five

by Donna_Nobles_Knickers



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-11-09 00:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11092905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donna_Nobles_Knickers/pseuds/Donna_Nobles_Knickers
Summary: Donna starts to remember again, Jenny shows up and helps dad set a new watch with the Chameleon Arch to remove the Doctor part of Donna.  Oops, something goes wrong.  Metacrisis appears.  This isn't done.  But I wanted to post it anyway.





	1. The Doctor's Secret Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, please leave me comments as to whether you like this. Nobody's said anything. I may just stop posting and write for myself and workmates.
> 
> I'm seriously starting to think this is a waste of time as no one's offered comments.

Two Teens and a Baby  
The Doctor's Secret Plan  
Part 1

Jack got the call from Wilford Mott that Donna was having severe headaches and her body burning hot. Jack called Martha and she called the Doctor. He’d be a while getting back; in an alien jail again. 

Martha had mentioned to Jack while they waited for the Doctor to return to earth and while trying to cool Donna down, about the Chameleon Arch. Jack got to thinking they could use that to plant all of Donna’s Time Lord DNA and memories into the watch. He searched every corner of time and space for a copy of the watch so they could duplicate it for Donna. He remembers the one from Malcassairo for the Master and finds it near the location the Tardis had been parked at. 

By the time the Doctor arrived, Jack and Martha had a plan. “It could work.” The Doctor noted. “But I need time to reset the Arch to remove only the Time Lord DNA from a Human body; not change the DNA to human. It’d be complicated.” “What do we need to do, Doc?” Jack replied. “I could use another Time Lord; but you’ll do.” Muttering to himself, “Don’t want to change my Time Lord DNA to human either. Don’t want me in the line of fire or helping my Ginger and merge into her or become human, Martian or horse again. I’ve gotta have a backup plan. Oh, oh…oh, she’d kill me. But it would work.”

Martha’s phone rang and she saw Mother flash. It rang twice and then stopped. One minute later, it rang again three times. Martha called her Mum, and heard, “There is a person who placed a Personal for Martha Jones, asking if you know where her Dad and Donna are.” “What?” “It is in the Times Personals on Sunday.” “Hold on, Mum. Gwen, check Sunday Personals in the Times for a message to me. Thanks, Mum; this is just what I need to hear right now. If it’s for the Doctor; it could be his daughter. She’d survived after all.”

Gwen came over with a print out of the online ad from the Times. Listing herself as a generated anomaly, she is searching for her Dad’s friend Martha Jones and wants her help finding Dad and Donna. Gwen had already tracked down where to find who placed the ad. Torchwood’s systems had been given a big upgrade with the help of Mr. Smith. Martha kissed the Doctor’s cheek, Jack’s cheek and Donna’s forehead. With instructions to Ianto to literally keep Donna on ice, off she and Gwen went to hopefully find Jenny. Pulling up to a nice hotel in Cheswick, Martha approached the room Gwen had discerned the person was in. Knocking on the door, Martha identified herself for the occupant. The door swung open and there stood a very living Jenny, daughter of the Doctor. Throwing herself into Martha’s arms, she gave her a big hug, which was soon reciprocated by a teary Martha.

“Oh, Jenny, your timing is perfect. Amazing you’re so close to where Donna lives with her mum and gramps. Donna’s in trouble and your dad needs another Time Lord to adjust the Chameleon Arch to take the Time Lord DNA out of Donna, before it kills her. If she wasn’t in trouble, you could have run into her on the street by chance.” Jenny reached over to grab her jacket and kip and said “Let’s go.” Down at the car, “Jenny, this is Gwen; she’s a co-worker of mine and knows what is going on. She’s the one who found you. Let’s get you to Dad.” Gwen drove to the Torchwood Tower at Canary Wharf and led the way in to the old Torchwood offices. Once there, Martha revealed the vortex manipulator Jack gave her to transport quickly between London and Cardiff. Once back at the Cardiff Torchwood Hub, Jenny jumped on her Dad’s back and he all but exploded with glee. Jenny looked over at Donna and asked what happened to her Mum. Shocked at her reference of Donna, once he got his voice back, he quickly explained what happened. Jenny pressed her fingers against Donna’s temple and took a small portion of the Vortex within her.

Looking up at her Dad, she begin to take over from Jack and in no time, the Doctor and daughter had the Arch set for the experiment. Donna had recovered enough to stand a bit unsteadily on her own. Jenny took a bit more of the Vortex to help. The Arch was lowered to her head and the new watch was pressed into place and the Doctor turned the Arch on. Standing close by as he knew how badly it would hurt, he was able to catch her near the end of the transformation. 

Something went wrong. They were both enveloped in the whirling gold and when it dissipated, there was Donna standing on her own with a slight tummy bump but no Doctor. Jenny picked up her dad’s sonic screwdriver and scanned Donna. “Oops!” “What do you mean oops, Jenny?” Donna replied. “Well, Mum; Dad’s here but not as we’d expect him to be.” Jack began to snicker. “What’s wrong with you, Jockeyboy?” “I know where the Doctor is, I think!” “Well, where?” Martha caught on and soon so did the DoctorTwo, Gwen and Ianto.

“What the Fuck is going on?” Martha started with, “Donna, can you look down?” “Oh, my God; I’m pregnant. What did this skinny rat Martian do to me?” “Dad regenerated.” DoctorTwo replied. “Wait Twoie; when did you get here?” replied Jack. “Just as Mum was having the Arch placed on her head.” From Jenny, “I get it now; Dad regenerated into the only being he could base upon what he and I programed the Chameleon Arch to do. It was set to remove any Time Lord DNA from a human along with the oldest memories. But not set to change any Time Lord DNA to human. And it was set to do all this into one body, we meant Mum.” “Jenny, you and the Metacrisis keep calling me Mum, why?” “You’re the love of Dad’s life. His life’s companion; he’s my Dad, you’re my Mum.” Unknown months of pregnancy hormones catching up and Donna sat on the jump seat and cried. Motioning to Jenny and DoctorTwo, when they reached her; she grabbed them both into a big long hug, crying all over them. “Oh, God; two teens and baby on the way, no husband, so 1970’s here. Wait until I tell your Grandmum; it’ll kill her.” Donna cackled. 

“So how far along am I?” Jenny showed Martha her findings from the sonic and Martha predicted about 3 months along. “Let’s get an updated scan from the Medbay in an hour or so.” “Why?” “Timey-wimey stuff, Donna.” “Is there something wrong?” “Nothing that I can see from the sonic screwdriver, but I want a better scan from the Medbay equipment.” “Oh, okay. So, I’m carrying the Doctor in baby regeneration?” “Yeah, it looks like it.” “I’m going to need a high speed camera to take a lot of pictures of him. Diaper changes, baths, bare bum.” “Oh, no you don’t, Jockeyboy. I’m not having you embarrass him. It will be embarrassing enough on him with me and the kids taking care of him.”

“This is going to be tricky; Mum, Gramps, two teens, me and eventually baby Doc. So I will have to work as a temp again and do it while pregnant.” “Mum, remember I have all of Dad’s memories?” “Yeah …!” “I know about Dad’s bank accounts, all of his investments from the past 3 centuries and he gets paid monthly from UNIT and has accumulated a small nest egg; I’m sure he won’t mind our using it.” Donna grabbed Doctor Two around the shoulders for a hug and kiss on his temple. “That’s my boy! Martha, where are you working from right now?” “Here in Cardiff.” “So for you to remain my OB/Gyn, I should get a place nearby. That will be far enough away to keep your Gran from visiting daily.”

“Oi, alien boy two; I don’t like that or Doctor Two or Twoie. You’re my kid, I’m Donna and I’m going to call you Donald. No arguments.” “You never stop; do you, Mum?” “Nope, I’m Super Duper Time Lady Temp here. It’s better than being queen of the world!”

Within 48 hours, Donna, Jenny and Donald moved into a posh flat overlooking Harbour Point in Mermaid Quay, Cardiff. Donna and Donald also arranged for a 2 bedroom flat for her mum and Gramps in the same building. Inviting them to visit her; when they arrived, Sylvia was shocked into silence for the first time ever. Donna introduced the kids and explained their relationship to herself and to the Doctor. Donna then explained the technical issues that led to her being here now with some of the memories of the Doctor without burning up. 

Sylvia’s tongue unstuck and wanted to know where the Doctor was. Donna showed them into the new baby’s room, and the TARDIS parked nearby in a home office. And then she moved to the rest of the explanation. That the Doctor grabbed her before she fell and together they were wrapped in the same spirals that were permanently wiping the DNA from Donna. It regenerated the Doctor into the child Donna was now carrying. It wasn’t the Doctor’s baby; it was the Doctor in baby form.

Sylvia stared at Donna, mouth agape. Suddenly she broke out laughing and couldn’t stop. When she finally did; “Knowing this Doctor as I do; this must be the funniest thing that ever happened to him”. Donald broke out laughing at his gram’s comment and agreed, still having the Primary’s memories; it was the funniest thing to ever happen to him; apart from becoming a horse. Wilf was hiding his mouth with his hand, but his body was definitely shaking with laughter. Jenny nudged him but was laughing too. Baby Doctor began moving in a manner that let Donna know he wasn’t pleased.

Donna broke up the laugh fest quickly to lay down for her Mum and Gramps the background story; her, Jenny, Donald and Jack came up with. As she and the Doctor had married several times on various planets (which no one other that Donald needed to know about), they stuck with the one they went through in the New Las Vega Casino system. Donna found the paperwork in the Tardis and Torchwood remade one to look like a Nevada US marriage license. Torchwood then infiltrated the license bureau in Las Vegas Nevada and added it to their official records. The Doctor’s backstory is he received a new assignment to a remote area of the planet (nobody’d been in Donna’s womb before) and with Donna’s recent ‘loss of memory accident’, he convinced her to return home and wait for his return. The kids were his from earlier relationships and everyone had decided to settle in Cardiff, near the Doctor’s project office, Torchwood. Her short-term memory loss explained why she couldn’t remember being married or pregnant. Her remembrance now was from therapy sessions with Doctor Ianto Jones, C Psychol, Clinical Psychologist. A easy to set up for Torchwood fix.

Two months later, sitting at her kitchen island, Donna is now showing like she is 4 months along. Donald warns her, the pregnancy may advance as a normal Gallifreyan pregnancy, 12 months. The timey-wimeyness of the regeneration may be speeding up the pregnancy so Donna could carry to normal human timespan. After a high five with her favorite son, she sets about checking recipes for the family meals for the week. Donna is taking this down time; living off the Doctor’s money; to learn how to cook; attending Giovanni's Cookery School. Hoping that the Doctor grows up rapidly is something she desires but understands it could take Theta a while to comply. Donald had explained that Primary’s nickname within his family and school on Gallifrey had been Theta. Donna had for the moment decided to use it as the baby’s name; and at least perhaps his middle name.

She never discusses with anyone except Martha her role as the Doctor’s snuggle bunny. She and Martha have been honest with each other regarding their individual relationships with Theta; honesty was about all they had left unknown between them, thanks to the Doctor’s…well, his…um…never mind. Martha had long ago gotten over her crush on the Doctor. She was in a relationship with Mickey Smith now. Mickey knew only a bit of the relationship between Martha and the Doctor and later their joint relationship with Donna. He knew more about Rose’s separate relationships with her 2 Doctors. And he wasn’t a fool, he knew Martha had left those feelings behind as she and he got to know each other better.

Donna announced to her group of girlfriends her new status a month after the regeneration. She’d already gone through the wardrobe room with Donald; together they found a set of wedding/ engagement rings (worth a fortune it turned out) for Donna to wear to promote her married status with the girls. After meeting at their favorite bar, Donna then set about a meetup at her Mum’s house for the girls to meet Donald and Jenny. The kids had been well schooled in what could be said and what couldn’t be said. She’d convinced both to attend Cardiff Metropolitan University and they were excelling in sports. Majors hadn’t been decided yet. Both events went well and Nerys as usual was the most jealous. She made sure she invited the top Sotheby’s jewelry expert to a little do she had for Donna. Her jealousy knew no bounds once the expert examined Donna’s rings. Rare diamonds several hundred years old from an Indian mine in settings about 200 years old in white Gold. Even Donna and Sylvia were shocked at the value he quoted. 

Calling Donald from Nerys’s; he explained the stones were a gift to the 2nd Doctor from the Third Dalai Lama, Sonam Gyatso (1543-1588). The Fourth Doctor had returned them to the Eighth Dalai Lama, Jamphel Gyatso in 1781 and these were re-gifted to the Fourth Doctor a year later in the current ring settings. The Doctors had never intended to give them to anyone; until Donna decided to travel with number 10. As Jenny said; Donna was the love of his life…well several lives. Donald confirmed the Doctor had pulled them out of storage and planned to ask Donna to bond with him…at least until the Daleks had brought the 27 planets together.

After hanging up on her son, a stunned Donna returned to the main room and confirmed to the jewelry expert and Nerys that the rings had been in the family for several hundred years and had been a gift from a middle Asian ruler to his English explorer friend, Delta Smythe. She’d texted this information to Jack, so he could get Delta’s name in the internet in regards to Indian-Tibetan exploration by Torchwood Institute. Nerys was struck dumb for the remainder of the evening. 

Donna with Martha’s help had decided to say she had been 5 months pregnant when she moved to Cardiff with the kids. This allowed the pregnancy to advance at its new slower speed to allow a “nine” month delivery. The baby Doctor would be named, John Theta Noble-Smith. Called Theta for short as “Dad” was John Smith. Nerys decided it was time to get pregnant again and ended up using a sperm bank as her husband said their twins plus her other two from the 1st and 2nd marriages were enough. When she announced she was pregnant; he left her for his secretary. The girls had gathered around Nerys, all sympathetic until Donna arrived glowing at 7 months. Donna was the center of attention for the rest of the evening. She brought pictures of the Baby’s room and the rest of the flat along with pictures of the kids and how they were doing at Uni. The best Nerys could do was complain about her two oldest failing their A levels. Smart Donna kept a keen eye on Nerys and was always ready with a hug or arm around Nerys shoulder. Wouldn’t do well to force the center of attention onto herself. They were there to support Nerys after all.

That was the night Donna felt the Doctor start to talk to her mentally. His touch telepathy was all…well he was touching Mummy all over, amniotic fluid and such; pressing up as he stretched out. He had some coherency about who he was but was still very confused due to where he thought he was. He stopped talking or thinking when he realized he was in contact with Donna and knew she couldn’t remember him. 

Donna called Jack and Martha to come over once she got home. The Doctor had talked to her and then stopped. Was anything wrong with him? Donald reminded Donna; that he may be in a confused state and clinging to the idea that DoctorDonna should never remember him. 

Donna sat in the middle of a sofa and crossed her legs as much as BabyDoctor allowed. Concentrating on connecting to the Doctor; she let him know she was cured and had no more Time Lord DNA. She knew who he was, Jenny was alive and the Meta-Crisis came back. He himself had regenerated into a Baby version and was growing inside her womb. 

Feeling the Doctor laughing uproariously, Donna got miffed. He told her to pull his other leg and she found one of his small feet and pulled as much as her distended stomach allowed. Theta stopped laughing and Donna felt stunned silence from him. Then she heard “Fuck Fuck Fuck.” To the best of her ability, Donna went over the conversation from immediately after the Chameleon Arch incident. 

She then told him he was grounded for the use of language. Once she was over being angry for having to give birth to his hopefully still skinny hide, he’d be getting a proper spanking for such language. “Jack’s put you up to this hasn’t he?” “No, this is all on you, baby Martian.” “You can’t spank me, Donna; I’m your … um … well … oh … FUCK!” “Two spankings, Theta.” “Where did you get Theta from?” “Donald.” “Donald, who? Whose been in your bed?” “Our son and not in my bed.” “What son?” “The Metacrisis is back and I’ve named him Donald.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” “Three spankings. Jack’s got the whole Tardis wired with cameras to catch every little baby move, gurgle and coo you make! Martha and I will post your little bare bum on the Campanion’s Support website.” 

“You won’t, I won’t let you.” “How is your few hours old body going to stop us?” “I’m a Time Lord, I’ll just send us back….” “How are you going to reach the console?” “Jenny will help me, my daughter.” “Your daughter’s dating and won’t want to be grounded by me anytime soon,” “Donald, he’ll hel….” “He’s still mad you sent him away to Pete’s World.” “I’ll get, do, make….” “I’m waiting, Martian baby!” “Fuck!” “Oh, I’m going to write a book about raising Martian babies. It will be a bestseller and you and I will be on Oprah and Graham Norton and Loose Women.” “I’m screwed.” “Not until you’re all grown up again, cuddle bunny.”

“Donna, sweetheart….” “Listen Alien baby, until you reach the equivalent of age 20 or 40, there is no Cuddle Bunnying to be had between us. That is just … gross, Doctor.”

Donna disconnected her link to the Doctor and laughed when she saw the looks on the kids, Jack and Martha. “Well, the Doctor is due for 3 or 4 spankings for the use of bad language. He’s already trying to sweet talk me and has been told it will wait until he reaches adult status.”

End Part One!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n – yeah I’ve got more exploding in my brain for the birth and after. Jack offers, Martha offers and Baby Doctor can’t stop offering, but what are they all offering?


	2. Baby Pappy Doc

Part Two

Baby Pappy Doc 

Donna is so uncomfortable and the baby link isn’t helping either. The little bastard’s angled himself down the birth canal and appears to be dancing in place. Donna’s spent an hour crying and the kids have called Jack and Martha and Great-Gramps. Donald’s been trying to link to Dad to get him to settle down so Mum could try to get comfortable. Doctor wants to give Donna instructions on how to give birth. After all he’d done this 3 times with his wife on Gallifrey. Jack starts to offer advice on breathing and offering his hand for Donna to squeeze. She threatens to squeeze him down an empty elevator shaft. As her doctor, Martha is just offering the usually doctorly-BF advice. Donna offers to tell Mickey.

Donna’s had it, she wants a C-section NOW! Jack takes the Tardis and both kids to visit Sylvia and Wilf to convince them to come aboard and travel to Cardiff immediately.  
Once Sylvia’s been convinced it is either this or the vortex manipulator or a slow train, and having Donna scream at her over the phone, that she wants her mother now, Sylvia boards the Tardis.

“After all these months, I’d thought Donna would have tidied up a bit more. Jack, Donald; can’t you too spiff this up, new, modern equipment?” Says Sylvia. “I’d thought it’d be cleaner.” Wilf replied.

“Well, the Tardis is a sentient being just like us. And this is her Grunge look. She has been this way for two Doctors now.” from Jack. Donald added, “Don’t worry, she’s not offended. Donna and the Doctor both love her this way. When she’s ready to change, she will.” “I’m just worried the baby could get hurt running around in here.” “Don’t worry, the Tardis loves the Doc and won’t let him be hurt, regardless of his size.”

“That vortex manipulator, could that have got us to her sooner?” Jenny, “Grams you’d be throwing up for a while after using that. It doesn’t do anything to you but leaves you quite sick.” “Well, we’re here now.”, from Donald. “Donna, Donna; Mummy’s here!” “Listen you old cow, get out here and take control! I want a C-section and I want it now! Get this alien OUT OF ME!!”

“Donald, go make tea and take your great granddad with you. Martha, there’s a Medbay in the box, right?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Go get it ready, take Jack with you. Jenny, let’s get your mum off the couch and move her to the box.” Once Sylvia and Jenny heaved Donna up, the two human women hugged the life out of each other. “Mummy’s here now. I remember when I gave birth to you. Your grandma Noble was visiting and when my water broke, she gave me such a hug of love that I never again said a cross word to her.” “Mum, you say some of the worst things about her all the time!” “Never to her face, young lady, if you recall.” “Oh, yeah. How is the old bitch anyway.” “Still wallowing like a walrus at the Bayview Retirement Home near Bournemouth. Although that nice manager Harvey Bains called the other day. Needed to make sure her health insurance was paid up. A 102 she is now. Just breathing in air the rest of us need. You should send her pictures of you pregnant with the grown kids and then of the new one. Mention the husband’s in absentia. Could be just what we need and easier than visiting, to just trip her down the stairs.” “Yeah, Mum; that’s a good idea. I’ll do that. AFTER WE GET THE ALIEN OUT OF ME!” “Settle down, Missy; we’re at the medbay.” 

Few people knew that early in their marriage, Sylvia was a nursing student. At least until Donna came along. She’d hated it but a nice young man, told her on a bus one day, that the health care industry would be booming as more people would be living longer. Working in that field could be financially beneficial. At the next stop the young man in a bow tie and red Fez said “Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Noble” and got off the bus.

Once Donna was born, there just wasn’t enough time to continue her studies. And Geoffrey received a promotion, most likely based solely on the fact he was now a father. The accounting firm was a family business and Geoffrey was now in a “family way”.

Armed with her feeble studies, Sylvia was actually a decent nurse to Doctor Jones in the Tardis Medbay. She kept a running commentary to Donna to keep her mind off the pain. Her and Geoffrey’s early married life; his hard work and her studies in Nursing. Choosing their home in Cheswick and preparing for Donna’s birth. 

From Martha, “Donna, the Doctor is too far down the birth canal to do a C-Section. We just need to let this progress naturally.” Syliva, “Is it too soon for her to push?” “Yes, it is.” Donna, “Fuck!” Doctor to Donna, “Language! Earthgirl.” Donna to Doctor, “Please just slide out or this is the last time you’ll ever be in my pussy!” 

The Doctor took all of 10 seconds to decide a course of action. He was safely delivered naturally within 3 minutes. Using his touch telepathy as he proceeded out, he made sure Donna felt no pain. And as Donna had hoped, he was still a skinny rat alien. Martha assured her no cutting had been needed. 

With eyes shining, Sylvia hugged Donna, “See nothing to worry about. And as a baby, he’s beautiful my girl.” Sylvia began to cuddle and coo the Doctor; as his face began to screw up for a good loud cry, Sylvia called him the “sweetest little boy in the world.” The Doctor gave in and let his mother in law continue. He’d get back at her later by making sure Grannie Noble lived a bit longer, 110 tops!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6/17/17; just added a bit regarding Waiting for God. Apparently someone's mother in law is still alive and living at Bayview.


	3. Part 3 Babbling Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids grow up so fast. For being a 905ish year old Time Lord; this one grows up very fast.

Part Three

Babbling Doctor 

“He’s an alien, Mum; his people have two hearts.” “Don’t be ridiculous. What else does he have two of?” “Well, eyes, ears, hands, arms, legs, feet, balls.” “No need to get snarky or crude, young lady.” “If you want to know any other differences, ask Donald.”

It had been a month since Theta was born. He cried every time he was bared for bath, changing, etc. And he stopped crying once he was dressed again. Donna had tried to give him formula from the beginning but he wouldn’t take it. She’d hold him close and he’d reach out to touch her and she heard, “Donna, feed me; so hungry. Feed me, please.” She’d try the bottle again and he’d start to whimper. Finally, Donald said, “Oi, earthgirl, just whip those puppies out and let the rat alien nurse.” Donna went to her room, locked the door, released a breast and Theta went to town. When he had his fill of the one, he whimpered again and Donna adjusted him and the other boob so he could finish feeding. 

Theta got his fill and would send Donna an “Oi, I love you, Ginger!” And a big belch. Donna got a good night’s rest.

One day Donna ordered him a bunch of pinstripe onesies. His favorite for a while was the RuggedButts 'Pinstripe' Bodysuit. Then the BrimmerBaby Navy Bodysuit with Blue Pinstripe arrived. This was warm with a blue shirt.

“You know if you mash up the potato and add butter with a bit of cottage cheese, he’ll never know it’s not sour cream. Your Gran and I did that with your mum and with you.” “He’s a lot more intelligent than Mum and I were at two months, Gramps. He knows what sour cream taste like and doesn’t like cottage cheese.” 

Theta looked like he was 6 months old two months after his birth. He wasn’t talking but could reach Donna’s temples easier. He still insisted on nursing every evening. Donna wouldn’t let herself drift off until she heard his loud belch. His favorite thing was wearing one of the cotton tee onesies that looked like the tees he’d slept in and cuddle between Donna’s breasts. As she drifted off, she often felt a kiss against which every boob his face rested against. He always received a kiss on the head from his Ginger.

“Nana, Nana!” “Nana, here, my sweet boy. Would you like me to rub your tum-tum?” “Noooo! Nana!” “Mum, he wants a banana. Not his mother in law.” “Well what will he call me?” “Mrs. Noble.” “But I’m his….” “MOTHER IN LAW.” “Oh, well; alright.”

Theta had grown to 18 months by 3 months after his birth. As a Time Lord, he had better command of language than most babies at 18 months. He just limited the usage in front of Sylvia. He was still insisting on sleeping with Donna; he’d yet to spend more than an hour in his room any night. Morning and afternoon naps the baby’s room was fine. Those only lasted an hour or two anyway. But when he noticed Donna dragging, he’d whimper to lay down with her in the afternoon. She’d finally refused to whip the boys out for a nighttime feed. Only when he’d seem extremely tired or fussy would she let him nurse and then from just one boob. Or a small amount from both.  
He was still embarrassed to be undressed by anyone, except Donna or Donald. Although true to his word, Jack had plenty of pictures of the alien running around naked. He’d get away from Donna, Sylvia, Jenny or Donald after a bath and run naked through the Flat. Jack had rigged the flat up with cameras everywhere and had them sent to his computer at Torchwood. He’d forward the pictures on to Martha to post on the Companion’s website. 

“No, Donna; Banana Pie today; not just a plain banana. I want it in a Pie!” “I’ve made you three this week already, you’ve devoured everyone and I don’t see where your skinny arse could hide anymore.” “I’m growing rapidly and Bananas are my favorite food ever. I want a Banana Pie, Donna”, he whimpered. Donna still panicked when he whimpered, she was so afraid that after only a couple of weeks of his outgrowing the nursing stage, she’d still start leaking when he whimpered. “l’ll make you Banana Muffins, Cake or Pudding. But you have enough Banana Pie this week.” “I’m calling Granni Sylvia; she’ll bring her sweet baby boy a pie! Pffft!” Donna gritted her teeth and texted her gramps to run interference with her mum and the rat alien.

He still refused to sleep alone and would occasionally snuggle with Jenny or stretch out with Donald. Boys Night, watching Disaster movies all night long. The Doctor was so showing through now that Donna didn’t fear damaging his brain by letting him watch the Disaster Movies. They were a favorite of his and as Donald was with him, as long as they were together, she allowed it. She started to give him a few smacks for bad language. When she did, she reminded him this was to make sure he didn’t use those words in public places. The last thing he’d want is to have Family Services give him to Sylvia. And to have frequent visits where his changing size would be questioned. 

“…fix that chameleon circuit if I just tried hotbinding the fragment-links and superseding the binary code with the Block Transfer Computations…” At four months old Theta looks 4 years old. Already his fingers are becoming the long, elegant fingers of the Doctor that Donna so misses. She’s refused to buy him a small pin-striped suit as he’ll only out grown it by the next week. Martha is predicting he’ll start to advance about a year per week. Clothes are very loose and several sizes too big. She buys a new set of jimjams, 2 pairs of underwear, socks and trainers; 2 pairs of jeans and tees every week and by the end of 4 weeks they fit perfectly. Which means he always has one full set that fit for every year he’ll be.

Donald on the other hand seems to be getting younger at about the same rate, one year younger for every week. Donna asked Theta if he knew why this was happening. “Even though he is human with one heart, he does have some Gallifreyan DNA in him that is tied to me. As I’m a younger Doctor, his body’s Doctor DNA is adjusting to my DNA. It is not regeneration but it is similar to one. He should stop once I reach age 18 or 20.”  
End Part Three


	4. The Terrible Tweens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay, I'd been advised by friends at work to remove the porn references. let me know if I should?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n – we are talking about those tween years between two and twenty.

Part Four

The Terrible Tweens

“Donna! I need an iPad; order me one.” “What do you need an iPad for.” “Porn.” “You’re seven years old; what do you need porn for?” “To keep me occupied until you’re ready! And I’m 906ish.” “I’ll order you an iPad and the biggest one they have but I’m using Parental Controls to keep you away from porn.” “Then I’ll borrow Donald’s phone to watch porn!” From the smirk on his face, she knew he’d do it, so she texted both the kids to parental lock their phones and tablets against Daddy’s Porn searches.  
Jenny won’t let her dad sleep with her anymore, even if he is still kid size. Donna thinks it still gross and is afraid of those little hands. With Donald, he wants his sleep; typical young adult male. So Theta has banished himself to his Tardis bedroom as he refuses to use the cute kid’s furniture Donna bought for his bedroom. On their no science class days; he confiscates Jenny and Donald’s science text books to study. Unit has sent over what textbooks they can release for public consumption to him. 

He’s got a barstool set up at the console and watches all the porn he wants. Donna hasn’t found out yet. Well it is intergalactic, interspecies porn. He doubts she’d even know what she was seeing. He’s also noticed a few changes the Tardis has made to herself. Her exterior paint job seems brighter. Like freshly painted blue. The console room and the halls seem to be less grungy metal and more shiny polished, no, like a burnished pewter. He likes it. He just noticed one of the coral columns is glowing like Spirularia earth coral; white with a pale blue base. Later another column is glowing a bright forest green. After 2 weeks all the walls appear to be more of a burnished pewter metal with the coral posts glowing and reshaping into different coral colors and styles. When Donna, Jenny and Donald finally pop in for a visit; Donna and Jenny like to stroke the teal and bright forest green columns. The next morning, the Doctor notices that all the columns are one of those two colors. Columns throughout the hallways alternate and seem to look good with the burnished pewter walls. The Doctor himself likes the new look but wonders aloud if the console room could be laid out a bit better. He receives a hm hum from the Tardis and sits down in the library and designed several layouts.

He leaves it to the Tardis to choose a layout she’s comfortable with but suggests two hidden doors for unisex half bath and the other for the wardrobe. He remembers Donna running back in on the Ood planet to find a warm coat.

Next morning, when his 11 year old body wanders in with a chocolat banana crème filled croissant and New Orleans Café au lait with chocolat milk, he sees an ornate wardrobe door to his left of the hall entrance and a glass door to his right. After eating his early breakfast, (Donna will bring him sausage, eggs and English muffin later) he investigates and behind the glass door is the new full bathroom, with large shower, urinal, toilet and bidet. The Wardrobe door hides a walk in area and a large circular spinning rack holding everyone’s favorites coats, including a few new fur coats for Donna and Jenny. A gray copy of his brown Janis Joplin coat is hanging up for Donald. It also has shelves for hats, scarfs and gloves. He found a stack of shelves with a variety of shopping bags from netting to biodegradables.

It also has a stair that leads to an interior hall that leads to the full wardrobe room. He likes the short cuts and sees an upper door. Upon opening it he sees a slide pole that sends him back to the main level and doors that appear to be in Donald’s and Jenny’s favorites colors. Ah, the Tardis is adapting to haul his family about now too.   
He returns to the Console room to find a bigger change. The walls are now striped in Dark and light blue chrome plates. No rivets are showing so Theta thinks each plate was a tongue and groove joint into the next plate. The coral columns are still there in their new colors of pale blue/white, teal and forest green. The metal is still burnished pewter in the dark and light blues. The console interior walls now match the Tardis exterior.

He lets out a low whistle when he walks up one of many ramps to the console. The whole thing is in the burnished pewter, the center column is glowing teal green; his hammer hasn’t changed a bit. The knobs and handles are all a Gallifreyan hickory woodgrain, the real wood. Sitting up on a wide 6 x 6 meter pedestal; the edge is framed by a pewter and coral railing system. Partially attached to the 4 meter high railings and supported by coral posts, the new jump seats could still accommodate 3 people each and were now tufted Tardis blue velvet in a softer squishier style. The backs are sturdy and firm and will automatically raise or lower themselves to fit the occupant in each seat section. Four of these jump seats are set up along the railings of the console bay. Two ramps across from each other and steps across from each other form an X for entrance up to the console bay.

By the time Donna comes in to bring his breakfast, the changes seem to be in place and Donna is impressed at the new colors and layout. Along the console bay walls are a variety of places. A couple areas are for seating, some extra work stations to complement the console and two corners house book shelves and a comfy chair each. Donna walks around the console itself, caressing as she used to. Donna flips off the porn site. Yes, she knows what interplanetary interspecies porn is. Snuggle Bunny Super Temp number one, remember! 

She tells Theta she’s going to check food stock in the Galley and he just digs into his breakfast with mm-huhmm. In the Galley, Donna has it out with the Tardis that for all of his 900+ years; an eleven year old boy shouldn’t be viewing porn of any kind, human/earth or interspecies/interplanetary, period. Donna trusts the Tardis to block all forms of porn from their favorite rat alien thief. Donna writes out a few items the Galley is low on and gives Theta a kiss on the top of his head and heads out.  
The Doctor can no longer get any type of porn anywhere in the Tardis. Not even the Playboy channel on any earth network.

End Part Four


	5. Ta-Da and Sylvia Makes Demands

Three months after Donna gives birth, the family gathers at the local church for a brief funeral. Set up by Torchwood; Donald records a brief message as the Doctor to be played for Donna at the service. The tabloid notice lists Theta as a victim of SIDS. Missing from the event is 12 year old Theta, as his presence under this name and age hasn’t been introduced to anyone beyond Torchwood or the Nobles. Two weeks later it is time for the Doctor to advance another year. Donna hears screams coming from the Tardis and calls Martha; who is there in a flash as she was working late at the office. While the Doctor isn’t making any major changes, the pain of this advance is worse than any advance before. Martha asks if she can move in for a few days. She’s concerned it may be time for something big to happen. While he appears to be fourteen, she suspects he may start advancing more than a year at a time from this point. 

As the Doctor continues to stay in the Tardis each night, Martha, plans perhaps a few all-nighters with Mickey, moves in to her old room on board. She doesn’t have long to wait and it is the first night Mickey stays over. Two days after his painful advance to age 14. The Doctor doesn’t want to disrupt Martha and Mickey’s night together. So he grits his teeth and screams into his pillow. It is the Tardis who hums quite loudly to wake Martha and queues her to his bedroom. When she arrives the door opens automatically and weaving in behind her is a sleepy Mickey. They notice the gold tendrils of the vortex surrounding his still young body. Not able to stifle the pain any longer, they hear a few grunts going from adolescence to adult, each grunt sounding more painful than the last. The Tardis had helped prepare a few pain reducers which Martha had planted in the Doctor’s ensuites. These she grabbed and administers one to him immediately. He breathing mellowed a tiny bit. But the pain was still evident on his face. His body now began to stretch more about every 5 minutes. Mickey keeps count on his watch the amount of time between each point of blinding light. He also texted Donald who with Jenny rushed into the Tardis. Donna being convinced by her girlfriends for a night out to mourn the loss of Theta. As the girls gathered in Cheswick, Donna wasn’t expected back until the next day. 

Around midnight, Donna thanked the girls, especially Nerys who planned it. Though the idea was in poor taste, Nerys had a lot to deal with. She was near the end of her pregnancy and was huge; triplets this time her doctor had predicted. As Donna turned to leave, she noticed a Mr. Schmidt she’d temped for, he’d started up a dot com company and Donna knew it was doing well. Schmidtty had long been looking for a wife and had tried to come on to Donna a few times after she left his employment. He came from a large family and wanted one of his own too but had contracted Scarlet Fever as a child and was left sterile. Donna said hello and asked how his company was doing. Even better that before; he was house hunting in SoHo. Donna introduced him the Nerys and she knew for Schmidtty it was love at first site. Nerys held back until she saw his watch; and then he pulled out his phone, the best on the market. Nerys was hooked and married before the Triplets were born.

Donna hurried away now as she felt something was wrong at home. She called her Mum that she was going straight to the train station; she still had a few hours wait for the next one to Cardiff. No one was answering their phones. It was after 2 by now. When Donna arrived in the earlier morning, Mickey and Martha were asleep on the couches, Donald and Jenny both asleep in their rooms. Donna moved to her room and turned on her bedside light. There stretched out in his familiar gray flannel jim jams and gray cotton tee, was the Doctor. Her Doctor, all 905ish years of him; full grown, all male, all her Doctor. Donna changes into her lilac silk jimjams and a camo lilac tee; the doctor meantime, rolls to his side in the middle of the bed and Donna crawls in behind him. Finally, she cups and squeezes his perfect bum.

The Doctor mumbles something that has Donna whacking him with her pillow. He grabs her arm and pulls her over him until they’re facing each other. Not having opened his eyes; he says “I said, ‘Ah my Ginger’. No one else; just you. It was painful and I want to sleep a long time. Shh!”

The Doctor pulls her close as possible and tucks her head under his chin. Kisses the top of her head and Donna says “Glad you’re back, Theta. I’ve missed you.” “Mmmm.” He replies.

The next morning, Donna wakes alone and not certain he was there as his old self. She grabs her favorite robe, his and wanders into the living room. Finding, Martha and Mickey, Donald and Jenny and even her mum and gramps gathered around the dining table. As she approaches one of the two empty chairs, she hears a loud bang of pots and a “That’s it.” coming from the kitchen. Out pops the Doctor with several plates of food balancing on his arms. The kids jump up to help divest dad of the plates and lays them around the table. The Doctor sits down and see Sylvia nudge her dad and bows her own head. “Wilf, would you like to say Grace?” responds the Doctor. “I’d be happy to, if you wish.” “Please do.” the Doctor says and smiles at Sylvia. Wilf responds with a brief thanks for the food, the cook and the time with family and friends. Confused Jenny is the only one not to say “Amen.” Sylvia gives Jenny a brief education on the family’s religious views and suggests taking a few classes next term on various religious histories. 

Sylvia, “Donna mentioned when she was introducing us to the situation you two found yourselves in that you had married in the New Las Vega solar system…. I understand situations arise that you can’t collect us every time an alien species forces you to marry. But I’d like to think that considering your relationship, you might want to do something formal for yours and Donna’s family and friends.” Donna’s mouth dropped open, Wilf covered his smile with his napkin, the kids looked shocked. Mickey was smug and Martha lowered her gaze and texted Jack.

Under the table, the Doctor removed Donna’s left hand rings. He pocketed one and pulled Donna’s chair back. “I know you and Donald found these in the Tardis wardrobe room. I’d removed them from the vault a couple of weeks before Earth appeared in the Medusa Cascade. Donna, I’ve only deeply loved two women in my life. I married Lenia when I was 110 and she was 90. We had a long wonderful life until the Time Wars and day I sent Gallifrey into stasis. Her allegiance to the President of Gallifrey took her from me and the war took our children from us.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is so outside my Doctor Who 10 and Donna head canon, but I just couldn’t resist. It just won’t fit the head canon, like putting a round ball in a star hole.


End file.
